This is the second in a two-part series. For part I, see Retirement of a Therapist – Part I
When we left off, I had brought you to the point of finding out my therapist was retiring, my mixed reactions and my struggle to recognize that this was a major life event. I remember vividly at beginning of our next couples’ session, I very casually (VERY CASUALLY, who me? affected?) told BN that my therapist was retiring. He reacted very strongly and with a lot of concern, much the way someone would if you told them someone close to you was dying. I felt so pulled towards his reaction (maybe this was a major thing?) while simultaneously wanting to back away (don’t make me face how painful this is). Ambivalence about the loss and its magnitude was pretty much a constant throughout the process. To BN’s credit, he tried on a number of occasions to try to get me to open up about my feelings and I would minimize my feelings and change the subject. I’d NEVER get away with it now, but we didn’t know each other as well then. I think BN was still learning how hard he could push me at any given time and while I felt drawn to him, trust was still a distant gleam over the horizon. Continue Reading
Well, ok I’m not two years old, but Tales of a Boundary Ninja is (and don’t think I can’t hear you saying “but sometimes you act like a two year old.” :)) As you can see below, I’m getting a little more traffic then when I stared the blog. I have 153 blog followers at last count, all of whom I am very grateful for. (153 looks really impressive until you look at Crazy as a Coconut, What a Shrink Thinks, or Therapy Tales. So I try not to look too often. Content yes, follower count, no! :)). Actually, I am grateful to everyone who has come by to read what I have to say. I still find it a bit shocking that people want to read what I write (being a technical writer I am used to people NOT wanting to read what I write. :D). I am especially thankful for those of you comment. This community has been so welcoming and supportive. I deeply value our relationships and the support and insight you all provide. If you read regularly, but don’t comment, I would love to have you introduce yourself, if it feels safe and have a chance to get to know you. But either way, I am delighted that you spend some of your time with me.
Writing this blog has been an incredible experience and very fulfilling. I have so appreciated the encouragement I have received both in the comments and through email. You all help me to wrest meaning and purpose out of the abuse, and turn to good the evil that was done to me. It is a precious gift and one I cherish.