(Belated) Happy New Year!

Greetings Gentle Readers,

I want to wish everyone a Happy New Year and hope that the coming year is filled with peace, healing and self-discovery! I am presently on vacation and will have no internet access from January 4th – January 14th. I wanted to post a quick update. My husband is doing really well, the ablation seems to have really helped regulate his heart. We literally went to his cardiologist on the way out of town, who cleared him to go on vacation. I am very grateful that he is out of danger. The tail end of 2014 fit with the rest of the year as I was managing two different crises while on a five week break with BN (only three more weeks to go!) but true to his word, he was available so I was able to turn to him for support in the form of a phone call. Actually, very funny story. 🙂 I put in a call to his answering service which is how I contact him. He has a backup therapist when he is on vacation, but the backup usually only calls if BN doesn’t respond in a certain amount of time (or I’m on a special list, never quite been able to figure it out 🙂 ). So, while waiting for the call back on my cell phone, my house phone rings and the caller ID is showing the name of a therapist involved in one of the crises. I answer and while speaking to them, my cell phone rings. I tell them, I’m sorry, but I need to take this call but will call back in a few minutes. It’s BN’s backup T, who asks if I want to talk to him or talk to BN later? I was very comfortable talking to him about this particular issue, so I started to describe what was going on. Just as he was asking some questions to clarify the situation, I get another incoming call on my cell phone. I realize it’s BN calling me back. Not proud of this, but hey, I was having an attachment figure moment (who wants the babysitter when mom’s right there? 🙂 ), I told backup T that BN was on the other line and would it be ok if I hung up on him? He was very gracious. So I answered the call and BN and I spoke for around six minutes (which by my standards is a long call!). It was very helpful, both to know he was available but also because I felt like I had a good understanding of what was going on but needed some reassurance that I was handling things correctly. When we hung up, I then called the other therapist back and spent a rather intense 20 minutes dealing with that. I must confess that by the time I was done, I felt a bit dizzy. It also crossed my mind that speaking to three different therapists within a thirty minute span seemed a bit much even for me. So my strongest wish for 2015 is … boredom! Lots and lots of boredom! (As much as I joke, it was good as both situations were considerably improved when we left on our trip on the 31st which is making it a lot easier to enjoy vacation.)

I should be home on January 16th and returning to a “normal” schedule and hopefully blogging more consistently (I will not hold it against anyone who greets this statement with some skepticism. 🙂 ) BTW, can you do me a favor? If you have emailed me at my blog in the last few months and gave not heard back from me, could you email me again? I really am sorry about not being able to reply in a timely manner and have lost track of who still needs to hear from me. I want to assure anyone still awaiting a response, that it has everything to do with my lack of resources and nothing to do with your email. Thanks so much. For obvious reasons, I won’t start responding until after the 16th!

As the end of the year is often a time to reflect and look back, I thought I would post links to the top 10 most viewed posts on my blog according to my year end statistics. (OK, eleven for reasons posted below. Well, twelve, because I included my favorite post I’ve ever written because it didn’t quite make the top ten! It’s my blog, I’m going to cheat!). Thanks to all of you who have taken the time to read what I write, I am truly shocked and gratified that so many people find it worthwhile. And to those of you who comment, I cannot find the words to thank you enough for your support and encouragement. You keep me writing.

1. Disorganized Attachment or Why You Think You’re Crazy But Really Aren’t

2. Erotic Transference

3. Why your therapist SEEMS cruel, but really isn’t

4. Therapy isn’t enough Redux

5. My Core of Shame

6. One Among Many

7. You can come back now

8. Wanted, not needed, to go

9. Friendships with Ex-patients: Why I Say “No” (this is actually a re-blog post of an entry of Dr. Gerald Stein’s, to whom I owe my thanks for providing so much traffic. It’s also why I stretched to the top 11 posts, since this wasn’t really mine. Thank you Dr. Stein! If you haven’t read his blog, do. His posts are articulate, thoughtful and provide valuable insight from the other side of the couch.)

10. Anxiety Attack

11. Nothing Wrong All Along

I’m also including How do I fill the void? because this is, out of all my posts, my favorite. It felt like I was able to articulate something very important at the heart of the healing. I remember finishing it and feeling like I wouldn’t need to write anything else (I got over that obviously!) I hope other people find it helpful. I was absolutely thrilled that the wonderful Cheryl Fuller of Jung at Heart posted a link!

I also want to take this chance to thank Dr. Jeffrey Smith of Moments of Change and Ryan Howes of In Therapy as links on their blogs have driven a tremendous amount of traffic my way. One of my highlights of 2014, was actually getting to meet Ryan in a google chat room when we appeared together on a Huffpost Live broadcast!

He’s even more lovely in person.) And one last time, if you haven’t yet read Dr. Smith’s new book, How We Heal and Grow, waste not another moment! It’s one of the best books I’ve ever read on healing.

See you at the end of the month. Please take good care of yourselves in the meantime!

  1. January 2, 2015 at 2:49 pm

    Love this post!!Be sure to check out my blog if you get the chance! Thanks – Beth!


  2. Little Blond Girl
    January 2, 2015 at 5:37 pm

    Happy New Year AG! I hope this year brings you much happiness, love and inner peace. thank you so much for sharing your life with us.



  3. January 3, 2015 at 12:40 am

    Happy New Years, AG! I hope that you have a wonderful vacation. 😉


  4. January 3, 2015 at 8:27 am

    Stay well. Have a great vacation. As that famous song lyrics say “You are my Hero”. Take care.


  5. January 4, 2015 at 2:39 am

    Meeting you was a highlight of my year, too! Let’s collaborate soon! – Ryan


  6. January 8, 2015 at 6:58 pm

    I wish you and your husband happy new year, hope you’re still doing well.:)


  7. Ann
    January 12, 2015 at 2:57 pm

    A late Happy New Year to all!


  8. Ann
    February 10, 2015 at 12:42 pm

    How are you doing? Hope you and your husband are well!


    • February 10, 2015 at 12:47 pm

      Hi Ann,
      I’m still alive! Just seem to be perfecting the disappearing act. We had a great vacation but things were busy when I got home. I am also continuing to do very intense, very young work in therapy (have a post half written). Then I came down with a really nasty virus that is going around the area, which then ended up aqs bronchitis and an asthma flare-up. Today is the first day I’ve managed to work since last Wednesday. My energy levels are running rather low. And oh yes, ‘m having a major disruptions with BN. Someday, I’ll be back. 🙂 I hope you are doing well, it’s lovely to hear from you! xx AG


  9. Ann
    February 11, 2015 at 12:18 pm

    The virus this year has been particularly bad. I am glad you are getting better! I hope your work in therapy is productive, even if it is painful. Looking forward to your next post. Take your time and be mindful of your needs! Xoxo


    • February 11, 2015 at 12:27 pm

      Thanks Ann! Saw BN, rough session but really good work. But I’m really not feeling at all well today so I’m back off to the doctor’s. We haven’t seen the sun in weeks and it’s snowing every day. I loathe February. No wonder we only let it be 28 days! xx AG


  10. Communication Girl
    February 14, 2015 at 4:25 am

    Hi AG!

    I’m glad Ann asked how you are doing. Being new to the site myself, I wasn’t sure if I would impose. But I’ve been checking back and also wondered if you had an update. I’m also experiencing really young stuff in therapy these days. I can’t tell you how supportive your posts have been for me. I find most people don’t understand this type of deep work, so it has been wonderful to connect with others on your blog. I hope you start feeling better soon, and I look forward to reading your next post once you feel up to it. 🙂 CG


    • February 14, 2015 at 11:52 am

      Communication Girl,
      Welcome to my blog and thanks for commenting! I’m glad you took the time to introduce yourself and am very happy that you have found this to be a place where you can connect and feel understood. I am doing the final edits on my next posts and should have them up in a day or so. This bronchitis has been an absolute beast, I’ve been out of commission for almost two weeks but I’ finally starting to feel better. I’m glad people are willing to be so patient with my rate of output! Looking forward to getting to know you. ~ AG


  11. Ann
    February 15, 2015 at 11:18 am

    AG, We are waiting—–:-) ! Now you have a new reader (welcome CG) so there is even more anticipation. Heck, I will be happy if you post part of the phone book with your unique twist to it! We love you AG. Now you know how Mick Jagger feels! Xoxo


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