Monday Pick Me Up

June 24, 2013 7 comments

Just a little something to cheer you up on a Monday! 🙂 Enjoy.

51 Animal Pictures You Need To See Before You Die

Categories: Funny, limbic resonance

Peeking out

June 12, 2013 52 comments

Hi All,

I’m attempting to come back out and play, but its a bit harder (and more complicated) than I thought it would be. Of course, when isn’t it? 🙂

First, I want to say thank you so much to everyone who left such supportive comments. Your care and interest was the difference between me just bolting and coming back. I’ll be responding to comments over the next few days.

I am feeling much more rested and not nearly as fragile, but am struggling with just a boatload of shame. I continue to be affected by a number of events, including being cut off from my mother, and the online mess (although both of those are mild at this point) and other family stuff (about which I am being vague to protect other people’s privacy). But I have also been working in therapy on looking at my eating/body issues, which have tripped off a lot of realizations about beliefs about myself and my worth. Continue Reading

Categories: acceptance, ambivalance, childhood sexual abuse (CSA), disassociation, disorganized attachment, Emotional regulation, feelings, hate, healing, love, needs, pain, perserverence, self-worth, shame, trauma

Break

June 1, 2013 50 comments

I’m going to be taking a bit of a break from the internet; I am feeling like I need to step back and figure some stuff out. I am also feeling extremely fragile and think some space is a good idea. I honestly have no idea how long this will be. Might be a day or two, or could stretch into a significant amount of time. If I think its going to go for a long time, I’ll post an update. Everyone please take good care of yourselves and hopefully I’ll see you before too long.

Categories: Uncategorized

Depleted

May 27, 2013 47 comments

Hi All,
I am seriously behind in both my correspondence and in posting replies to questions from the Ask AG page. We just returned from a four-day trip to see my older daughter’s graduation (which was the 3rd 10 hour round trip I have made in 18 days). The graduation was wonderful but quite busy. The trip was also complicated in that my husband accidentally sideswiped a bike messenger in Manhattan the day we arrived. We immediately stopped and got out to assist him and he was, thank heaven, fine aside from a limp. We called 911 and they sent an ambulance. The police officer who took our report was very calm and assuring but as you can imagine it was pretty stressful, not to mention we now have a huge pile of paperwork and insurance hassle ahead of us. Continue Reading

Categories: abandonment, ambivalance, boundaries, disassociation, Emotional regulation, needs, pain, shame, transference

Medication

May 14, 2013 25 comments

jwd50 asked over on the Ask AG page why I had never spoken about medications. And I realized its mainly because I have been stable on my medication for a long time such that I don’t really give it a lot of thought.  But I know it can be an issue that a lot of people struggle with, so I thought I would share my experiences.

DISCLAIMER: I want to be very clear here that I am neither a professional therapist nor am I a medical doctor. What I am writing is based on my own experiences and reading, is anecdotal in nature and should not be taken as medical advice. Medications, their benefits and risks, should be discussed with a medical professional. People can also have widely varying reactions to this class of drugs, so I will not be mentioning the name of either medication I have used. Continue Reading

Categories: acceptance, ambivalance, Emotional regulation, medications Tags:

Finally Back

May 4, 2013 28 comments

Greetings gentle readers,

That hiatus was a twee bit longer than I anticipated. The end of the release kept stretching out without the hours getting any better (the upside is I earned a ton of comp time, for once I’ll have as many vacation days as my husband. :)) and no sooner was  I done, then my husband went into a refuel outage. As in, I finished up on Friday and he started overtime on Monday. So I took over all household duties from him and he took over 12 hour days/six days a week from me. I do not think either of us was thrilled about the trade. 😀 We’re having trouble remembering what “normal” looks like.

Continue Reading

Categories: boundaries, updates

It’s not really about my mom

March 26, 2013 17 comments

Don’t want to leave everyone in suspense but between my schedule and the fact that I am in the midst of trying to understand what is going on inside of me, this will be brief (ok, admittedly, brief is a relative concept with me :)). While BN recognized that, of course, it hurt that my mother ignored my birthday, I was incredibly clear about the situation and completely understood what was going on. He pretty much nodded and uh-huhed his way through the beginning of the session. He told me later that he had not said a thing or offered any insight because I didn’t need any. That I was handling the hurt from my mom better now than in the past and that it would get better in the future. That maybe I was struggling to find compassion for her and maybe that would come easier in the future, maybe it wouldn’t but it was ok either way. Continue Reading

Categories: ambivalance, avoidance, feelings, insecure attachment, needs, self-worth, shame, transference Tags: , ,

How do you protect yourself from the hurt?

March 18, 2013 27 comments

***UPDATE AT END OF POST
Greetings all, sorry I know I have been completely absent as of late. I am still working 10-12 hours a day, six days a week. Should be done in about two weeks which will be nice as I am missing having a life. But I am also very much struggling with being hurt and thought writing might help, so I am going to sneak in a post despite my schedule.

Continue Reading

Categories: abandonment, acceptance, ambivalance, anger, boundaries, forgiveness, needs, pain, Uncategorized Tags: , , ,

Must Read Blog

February 24, 2013 9 comments

I just found a really valuable blog written by Dr. Jeffrey Smith, a psychiatrist who works in Scarsdale, NY. I want to thank his reader K who very kindly linked to my blog, which is how I found Moments of Change. He writes with incredible clarity, and compassion about therapy, how it heals, and the therapeutic relationship while providing insight into the therapist’s side of the relationship. Go read this man! Start with this article Attachment to your Therapist II and its follow-up, Part III: How Relationships Transform.

UPDATE: Sorry, start here! Attachment to Your Therapist

BEST. DESCRIPTION. EVER.

Categories: attachment theory, limbic resonance, psychotherapy blogs, Uncategorized

MIA for a bit

February 22, 2013 7 comments

Just wanted to let everyone know that I may be a bit scarce around the blogosphere for a bit. We are coming up on a full release and since I’m the last guy in the pipeline, I tend to get very busy around now. I’m working 11-12 hour days, six days a week right now which means I’m devoting my down time to eating, sleeping, bathing and occasionally saying hello to my husband. 😀

So I will post and comment as I have the energy for it, but wanted everyone to know that responses to comments and emails will be taking a longer time than usual. So if you write and nothing happens, please don’t think its anything you did, just a temporary lack of resources on my part. The release is scheduled for the end of March, so I should return to being a fully functional death star then. Thanks!

Categories: Uncategorized