Ambivalence, thy name is mother
I am feeling… ambivalent. It is my mom’s birthday tomorrow, her 78th. We have been estranged for over a year since my birthday last March. Long story, which I have told elsewhere, but she was given information from an aunt that went a long way to confirming I had been sexually abused by my dad. I waited for her to contact me and she never did. Then, come to find out, she got angry about me not wanting a relationship with her. I know, I know, I got abused and she’s the hurt one
but I think she’s trying to protect herself. Unfortunately, it’s once again at my expense. But I also get how very difficult it would be to face that the sexual abuse actually happened to me. Continue Reading
Deprivation in Therapy
Dr. Jeffrey Smith has hit another one out of the park on his blog Moments of Change. He recently put up an excellent post that discusses what a therapist does and does not provide for a client in therapy and how you deal with the pain of the deprivations and why deprivation is sometimes necessary. This has been a big theme in my healing and I think he does an excellent job explaining what is a very complex issue. If you have ever struggled with what you cannot have from your therapist (Lord knows, I have!) go read this article: Healing a Damaged Self.
Words of Wisdom
Words of wisdom are sometimes found in the oddest of places. A handwritten sticker on a trash can in Key West, FL:
Having a lovely ( albeit one-handed! ) vacation! Looking forward to “seeing” everyone soon. 🙂
One Handed
Greetings Gentle Readers,
Just wanted everyone to know that I will be a bit sidelined for the next few weeks. I am having a surgical procedure today on my right wrist for carpal tunnel. The procedure is done endoscopically using only a 1/4 inch incision and takes only about seven minutes. The surgeon told me that it actually takes longer to sterilize my hand then to do the actual cutting. 🙂 I’ve been experiencing numbness in my hands for about a year now and despite doing exercises and wearing braces, it has not improved. Unlike my typing skills, which have gone seriously down hill, which is a bit problematic, since I write for a living! I will not be able to type with this hand for about 3 weeks. We are also going on vacation the first two weeks of February, during most of which I will have no internet access. Just didn’t want anyone worrying.
Things are continuing to improve in terms of the personal problems I have been dealing with and I am working on a new post about the work I have been doing around shame in therapy. Bit of a slog though, I am very much struggling to articulate what I have learned, it’s still all a bit new. My very kind boss bought me a copy of Dragon software so I can control my computer using voice commands and it included a license for my home system. So I may take it out for a spin and try to finish the post. OK, after the anesthesia wears off! See you all soon!
Instructions for a Bad Day
Having a bad day? Watch this. Come to think of it, watch it even if you’re not having a bad day. So much truth in it that we all need to work to hang on to; I know I had to work very hard to learn a lot of this and a reminder is always, always good. I hope this speaks to you, and you can take in these truths. The second link is a video that displays the words.
Instructions For A Bad Day – Shane Koyczan Poem – Lyrics On Screen

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