Where Oh Where Can AG Be?
Greetings Gentle Readers,
Sorry for the prolonged absence, but the release (which actually still hasn’t gone out yet!!! AUGH!!) went down to the wire. I did my final turnover at 5:00 on Wednesday the 15th and then my husband and I left for a cruise at 5 AM the next morning. So I had very limited internet access from the 16th to the 24th. We had a lovely, relaxing time, but it’s been difficult going since we got home. I have been doing some intensive work around being present in my body (which it turns out is NOT a favorite activity of mine) and there is a tremendous amount of shame coming up as well as some very young memories being triggered. I hope to do some writing about it soon. In the meantime, it feels like I kind of just put everything on hold while I was away, but now that I’ve returned home I am feeling quite flooded. There’s a lot of shame and anxiety floating around and I have been feeling incredibly weepy but it’s not really connected with anything. On top of that, things have very much improved and settled down with the crises we’ve been dealing with and it feels like I may be collapsing now that I know it’s over, and I can. Which is the long way of saying that I am struggling with feeling very fragile, overwhelmed and ashamed. Continue reading
Anxiety Attack
This is going to be a difficult post to publish and I apologize in advance that I don’t know if I’ll be able to respond to comments. I had what I think was my first anxiety attack last night. First, I feel like I owe an apology to anyone who has ever had one, I had no idea how truly physical it can be. I was honestly scared I was having a heart attack. This is hard to talk about because it’s kicking up so much shame and anxiety (I’ve never know the exquisite joy of being anxious about being anxious. NOT a lot of fun. And trying not to be anxious feels a lot like someone saying to you “think about anything but pink elephants.”) Continue Reading
Yet another hiatus
Greetings Gentle Readers,
Sorry to disappear again; just popped in to make it official! 🙂 I am working very long days and at this point will probably not have another day off until Labor Day. We have a major release going out which is rather documentation intensive, so I am really having to focus on work to meet my deadline. I can tell I’m the critical path because my boss is answering my emails in two minutes or less no matter what the time of day. 🙂 So until early September there will more than likely not be any new posts. I also will not be answering any correspondence. I know several of you are already waiting on answers from me, and I appreciate your patience. If you do write, you’ll be in the queue and once I have the time and energy, I will start responding in the order I received the emails. So if you have written, or do write, and do not hear back right now, please be assured that you have not done anything wrong, nor am I in any way upset, I just don’t have the resources to respond right now. I miss you all, and am looking forward to being available again! Take care.
Friendships with Ex-patients: Why I Say “No”
I thought this was an excellent, compassionate explanation of why a therapist might choose to not have a personal relationship with you. I very much respected his stance of continuing to care for his clients even after they were no longer his clients. I thought this might be helpful for a lot of people to read.
I recently received an invitation from a former patient to meet for coffee. This warm-hearted offer came from a man who is as principled and decent as anyone I know. What’s more, he is funny and bright — just the sort of person I’d enjoy having as a friend.
I said no.
Now you might ask, why did I make this decision? This was not the first such request since I retired over two years ago and not the first from a person I thought companionable. I’ve said no to all of them. What I’m about to do is explain how I reasoned this out. I’ll finish with my response to this terrific guy.
First, nothing in the American Psychological Association’s Ethical Principles of Psychologists and Code of Conduct forbids me from having communication with former patients. Nowhere does it say I can’t be friends with them. We are, however…
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Away for a bit
Just wanted to let everyone know that another situation has arisen that will prevent me from being on the blog, or answering correspondence or comments. My apologies to everyone who has commented recently that I have been unable to respond. It will more than likely be several weeks. Thanks so much and take good care of yourselves. ~ AG
Happy Mother’s Day
For those of my reader’s who are moms, I want to wish you a Happy Mother’s Day. Your commitment to healing and working through your issues are such a loving gift for your children.
For those of you who have mother’s for whom it is difficult to have the kind of sentiments expressed in Mother’s Day cards, I want to say I am sorry and that it’s ok you don’t feel that way. Not every mother is a paragon of love and devotion and while we can still love them (or not, I know under some circumstances that may not be possible), Mother’s Day brings its own pain and guilt. I pray you can find comfort from other people in your life who love and appreciate you and find peace about what your mom is like. Be gentle with yourselves. love, AG
Tales of a Boundary Ninja 
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