Archive
Therapist’s Self-Disclosure
Ran across a great article on the web by a therapist who specializes in training other therapist’s about self-disclosure in therapy and thought other people might find it interesting also: Think Before You Get Personal By Janine Roberts.
I am still working to catch up on answering all the wonderful, supportive comments I got through the recent disruption; I appreciate everyone’s patience. Work is ramping up for the next six weeks or so, so I may be a bit on the scarcer side. And GE, I have NOT forgotten about the post I owe you on coping with grief! Take care all. š
Quick Disruption Update
This will be followed with a (much!) longer and more detailed post, but didn’t want to keep anyone in suspense. It was a really good session in terms of the work that got done and reconnecting, although painfully brutal. I feel like a wrung out dishcloth. š I had a WHOLE lot of transference going on which I’ll talk about in my post, but BN was solid, empathic, caring and a damned effective therapist. We’re good. OK I am a little angry at him (and seem to be making a habit of saying “fuck you.” Again, his response was “that was good.” Therapists are weird. :)) Thank you to everyone for your support. And for being right about BN. I was so scared I was going to lose him and am very grateful it didn’t happen. I am also really angry at my dad. More to follow.
Emotions in Eating Survey
A friend over at psychcafe put up the post below and I wanted to spread the word:
A friend of a friend is working on a psychology PhD in Australia, and is doing some research around the role of emotions in eating. She’s looking for as many people as possible to complete the survey at the link below. The survey is open to anyone who might be interested, whether you consider your eating patterns healthy or not. Do consider participating and feel free to distribute this anywhere. More info at the survey link.
Break
I’m going to be taking a bit of a break from the internet; I am feeling like I need to step back and figure some stuff out. I am also feeling extremely fragile and think some space is a good idea. I honestly have no idea how long this will be. Might be a day or two, or could stretch into a significant amount of time. If I think its going to go for a long time, I’ll post an update. Everyone please take good care of yourselves and hopefully I’ll see you before too long.
How do you protect yourself from the hurt?
***UPDATE AT END OF POST
Greetings all, sorry I know I have been completely absent as of late. I am still working 10-12 hours a day, six days a week. Should be done in about two weeks which will be nice as I am missing having a life. But I am also very much struggling with being hurt and thought writing might help, so I am going to sneak in a post despite my schedule.
MIA for a bit
Just wanted to let everyone know that I may be a bit scarce around the blogosphere for a bit. We are coming up on a full release and since I’m the last guy in the pipeline, I tend to get very busy around now. I’m working 11-12 hour days, six days a week right now which means I’m devoting my down time to eating, sleeping, bathing and occasionally saying hello to my husband. š
So I will post and comment as I have the energy for it, but wanted everyone to know that responses to comments and emails will be taking a longer time than usual. So if you write and nothing happens, please don’t think its anything you did, just a temporary lack of resources on my part. The release is scheduled for the end of March, so I should return to being a fully functional death star then. Thanks!
Handling the Erotic Transference
Interesting take on Erotic Transference in the female therapist/male client dynamic, but I think there’s a lot here that applies in general. Written by a therapist and provides a glimpse into their perspective, I thought a lot of people would be interested.
Seem to be getting lots of queries about erotic transference, otherwise known as falling for your shrink.Ā Since I specialize in treating men, thought Iād take a crack at the subject from the particular angle of male patient/female therapist.
Male patients ā all patients ā bring to therapy the gender role expectations, attitudes and behaviors they experience in their other male-female relationships. But because the doctor/patientĀ relationshipĀ in psychotherapy is a unique ā and often new ā experience, male patients often do not know quite how to proceed.Ā And this can make for discomfort difficult to tolerate. Ā For both the patient and his therapist.
In part this is so because there are so few models for an intimate professional relationship. Ā Ā In fact, itās often rare for a man to haveĀ a relationship that is intellectually and emotionally intimate but with no physical/sexual intimacy. Ā They tend to go together for many, ifā¦
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To Let Go
My first therapist shared this with me a long time ago and I really liked it. I am gratified to realize that I understand it so much better now. Thought this would be helpful for a lot of people.
To let go does not mean to stop caring, it means I canāt do it for someone else.
To let go is not to cut myself off, itās the realization that I canāt control another.
To let go is not to enable, but to allow learning from natural consequences.
To let go is to admit powerlessness, which means the outcome is not in my hands.
To let go is not to try to change or blame another, itās to make the most of myself.
To let go is not to care for, but to care about.
To let go is not to fix, but to be supportive.
To let go is not to judge, but to allow another to be a human being.
To let go is not to be in the middle arranging all the outcomes, but to allow others to affect their own destinies.
To let go isā¦
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Myth of the Good Client
Interesting read (as always from Martha) on what makes a “good” client.
So you want to be the best, most gratifying client ever? You want to insure that your therapist adores you, always looks forward to your sessions, gets as much out of working with you as you get from them? Thinks of you as polite, funny, intelligent, astute, self-reflective?
All that probably makes you totally anxious, ties you in knots, and blocks your ability to teach your therapist what it is you actually need from them. And what you donāt.
But it wonāt make you a good or a bad client.
There are in fact clients that Iāve thought of as ābad clientsā ā and Iām certain that if you are concerned at all about ābeing goodā that you are probably not one of them.
āBadā therapy clients are those have presented in therapy with completely ulterior manipulative non-therapeutic motives (See Deliver Us: Thoughts on Evil in Psychotherapy http://wp.me/p1AOzF-74) who wantā¦
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Tales of a Boundary Ninja 
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