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Posts Tagged ‘erotic transference’

Some Handy Links

August 2, 2013 23 comments

Greetings all, just a quick post to provide some useful information. 🙂 I am working on a post to talk about how I am actually doing but its slow going. Promise I’ll get there eventually. But in the meantime, I have a couple of useful things to share. Continue Reading

Categories: acceptance, anger, avoidance, boundaries, childhood sexual abuse (CSA), disorganized attachment, healing, perserverence, responsibility, transference, trauma Tags: , , , ,

The Boundary Ninja is a Time Lord

July 4, 2012 10 comments

NOTE: This post discusses the BBC series Dr. Who  and although I have tried to avoid them as much as possible, it does contain some minor and one major spoiler. The major one is labeled so that you can avoid reading it if you have not already seen the show.  And if you haven’t seen the show, why are you still reading this? Go at once and watch! The first six seasons are available on Netflix for those of you with access.

I have recently been watching the BBC series Dr. Who (the most recent one) and  am really enjoying it. Actually I watched the first season a few years back, but was unaware that at times the Doctor regenerates (allowing another actor to step into the role).  I was so disappointed the first time this happened in the new series, that I stopped watching the show, sure I would not accept watching anyone else in the role of the doctor.  However, my daughter, bless her, informed me that I had to go on, so I started watching again. And immediately fell in love with David Tennant. (If you’ve watched the show, you know why, and if you haven’t, again, WHY are you still reading here?). Continue Reading

Categories: Boundary Ninja, transference, love, Funny Tags: , , , ,

The Beginning Part II

June 30, 2012 15 comments

For the beginning of this story, please see The Beginning Part I.

So when I left off, I was going to see BN alone, to tell him about my growing feelings  for him. Did I mention the insanely scared part?  I managed to explain to him that I was experiencing strong feelings of attraction that were really confusing me and told him about the articles which recommended taking these feelings to your therapist.  I shared how his understanding and accepting me were so appealing, that I felt less alone than I had in a long time. BN was amazing (I was still capable of being surprised by that at this point in our relationship :)). He told me that he thought I was very brave to come and speak to him, that he was glad I was experiencing such a strong sense of being connected and that all of my feelings, no matter what they were, were acceptable and welcome in his office. Then he reassured me that he had the boundaries and nothing inappropriate would happen so it was safe to explore these feelings. Continue Reading

Categories: acceptance, ambivalance, attachment theory, boundaries, dependence, disorganized attachment, healing, hope, needs, perserverence, safety, sexual attraction, transference Tags: , , , ,

Erotic Transference

May 9, 2012 142 comments

Update: This post has drawn a lot of traffic in the time it has been up, leading me to believe it’s a topic that a lot of people may wish to discuss further. If you have questions about anything in this post, or questions about things not discussed in this post, please feel free to ask a question in the comments or send me the question privately at the email address in the right column. Thanks! – AG

I got a request from a reader to discuss erotic transference, so I thought I would share a few thoughts. I do want to be clear that although I have done a lot of reading about erotic transference, most of what I write here is based on my own experience and so may not be all that universal. I also think that erotic transference can be a very complex thing encompassing several different dynamics in the relationship. Our sexuality is a very powerful, integral part of us and  therefore a lot of things get played out in this area; issues around power, love, desire, longings, sensuality, self-worth, and attractiveness to list only a few. And all of these things are going to be even more highlighted in the therapeutic relationship since the therapist carries so much symbolic weight. Continue Reading

Categories: ambivalance, boundaries, Boundary Ninja, childhood sexual abuse (CSA), healing, hope, love, needs, pain, sexual attraction, transference Tags: , , ,