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Archive for the ‘Uncategorized’ Category

I’m back (and in one tanned piece!)

November 8, 2012 6 comments

Greetings Gentle Readers!
I have missed you all! So sorry for the worries over hurricane Sandy; thank you to everyone who wrote and was concerned. The only effect it had on our cruise was to delay us leaving port by several hours because the ship we were on was late getting into port because of the storm (by all accounts they had quite the harrowing time the night before. One waiter told us that if someone told us they weren’t scared, they were lying). Our first night at sea was a bit sloshy so to speak (I didn’t have anything to drink so I kept wondering why it was so hard to walk :)) but sleeping was wonderful because it felt like you were in a giant cradle. Our itinerary was changed a few times, but they did a brilliant job of avoiding bad weather. We had a wonderful cruise during which we did very little, which was lovely. Ironically, we were much more worried about our family, as my older daughter attends college in New York city. But both her college and dorm are much further uptown and she suffered only a very short power outage, and was thankfully otherwise safe and unaffected, unlike so many others. I have a number of friends and loved ones who were in the path of the storm and are only now getting power back and my thoughts and prayers are with everyone so hard hit by this disaster. Continue Reading

Categories: Uncategorized

Promise Soon Come

October 25, 2012 6 comments

Greetings Gentle Readers,
I am still alive and on the planet. 🙂 I was working very long hours getting a beta release out the door, virtually up until the moment I left for a vacation with my very neglected dear husband (don’t feel too sorry for me as I am writing this pool side). My apologies to everyone who commented and have waited all this time for a reply, I do like to be slightly more timely than this but barely had time to bathe and eat. As important as I think it is to respond, which is very, NOT smelling was higher on my priority list. 🙂 I will be on vacation for another 10 days or so the last 8 of which I will be completely without internet access so I just wanted everyone to be aware that if you email or post a comment during that time, I will neither receive, read or be able to reply. When I return, life should be back to a much more normal schedule and I hope to return to more regular posting. In the meantime, I hope everyone takes good care and I look forward to returning rested, and refreshed.

Categories: Uncategorized

Guest Blogging on Therapy Tales

August 15, 2012 8 comments

The very funny and talented WG has graciously allowed me to guest blog. If you’re not familiar with the hilarity which is Therapy Tales, you’re in for a treat!

Categories: Uncategorized

Changes

August 14, 2012 12 comments

Greetings  Gentle Readers,

You might (stress on might :)) have noticed a few changes around the place. I have recently stepped down from moderating the psychcafe forum.  It was a difficult decision, and honestly, a difficult leave-taking, but I have been stretched very thin between my family, friends, job, the forum, the blog, therapy and my volunteer work (in no particular order). In addition to being stretched thin, I found myself wanting to pursue some new projects, as well as wanting to focus more time and attention here. The timing just seemed right.

So to mark this passage for myself, I decided to upgrade my blog and purchase my own domain (*stops to gaze and enjoy command of all she surveys *); the keenly observant may notice that the URL for the blog is now http://www.boundaryninjatales.com, although the old URL will still get you here. The contact email has also been changed to ag@boundaryninjatales.com (there’s a link in the sidebar to the right.)

Part of the upgrade included the ability to further customize the appearance of the blog, so I’ve also made some font changes. Please feel free to comment, against or in favor 🙂 of the changes. Wanted to make sure it felt homey, since I’m going to be here for a while. 🙂

Categories: Uncategorized

A Slight Hiatus

August 6, 2012 10 comments

Greeting Dear Readers,

Just wanted to let you know that things might be quiet for a short while, as there is a lot going on in my life right now. She’s recovering nicely but my younger daughter ended up in the emergency room last Wednesday night, was admitted to the hospital on Thursday and then had her gall bladder removed on Friday. She came home on Saturday and is recovering nicely, but still requires some care.  The couple of weeks leading up to that, we had one car die and then had car trouble with our “new” car. It’s also quickly approaching the time we need to take both girls back to school (and my younger daughter’s operation has rendered her incapable of lifting anything over 5 lbs for five to six weeks, so Dad and I are doing all those three-story trips to her dorm room while she supervises. Color me suspicious. :))  As if that wasn’t enough, I have a few other major changes in the works in the background. And don’t get me going about my work schedule. All of which is not leaving a lot of extra time right now. My apologies to people who have commented and have not yet received a reply, I will do so when  I have the time. Thanks and take good care of yourselves.

Categories: Uncategorized

Peer Trainer

I just wanted to share some good news that I’m very excited about. (Although I can feel like a small, excited child – probably because I’m acting like one 🙂 – BN got an email. :)) I volunteer as a Telephone Worker (TW) on a Crisis line here in Syracuse, the Contact Hotline. I will have been a volunteer for two years this June. I have really enjoyed volunteering on the line and have found it to be both very challenging and incredibly fulfilling. I was very excited when I got an email from the director today, asking me to become a peer trainer in the next training cycle. Continue Reading

Categories: Uncategorized

I found this incredibly affirming and uplifting even as it broke my heart.

whatashrinkthinks's avatarwhat a shrink thinks

I curse in session too regularly, and should probably be more ashamed of my potty mouth than I am.

I can talk frankly about anything from money to masturbation without blinking an eye.

I can discuss the darkest sins, the deepest shames, give words to feeling states that are subtle, terrifying, violent, kinky, mystical and murderous. I can use and parse my counter-transferential, intersubjective, empathic and projectively identified responses through some pretty tricky co-created therapeutic enactments.

But there is a word that I have almost never used
Even, (actually, especially) when I am near bursting with it.

I’ll speak all around it. I will, when the time is right and the relational necessity emerges, talk about feeling protective, allude to our connection our history, our alliance and hard work together, admit that I am touched, or deeply moved. I will share about the ways that…

View original post 1,288 more words

Categories: Uncategorized

April 19, 2012 5 comments

This was TOO good (and too groan inducing!) not to share. 🙂 Enjoy!

Categories: Uncategorized

March 2, 2012 2 comments

This should be required reading for anyone entering therapy. This was so very true about my own experience in learning to express my needs.

whatashrinkthinks's avatarwhat a shrink thinks

Ending and Unending Part 1 of 3

Two or three times a year, I’ll unwittingly schedule an initial consultation with a potential client who reveals that they are “thinking of leaving” their current therapist – and are meeting with me and several other clinicians as they shop for the quickest exit strategy.

Here is the deal: if you’re single, it’s not a great idea to date someone who is going to leave their partner any minute now, but just hasn’t told them yet. And it’s not a great idea for me to take your case when you are in an active relationship with a clinician who has committed to working with you, but hasn’t been told that it’s not working.

So: how do you know when you should break up with your therapist?

Unless there are some shockingly obvious ethical violations involved – in which case you are permitted to…

View original post 1,138 more words

Categories: Uncategorized

Learning Developmental Skills: Emotional Regulation

January 7, 2012 3 comments

This post is a continuation of a series started in But therapy can take us a long way: Learning Developmental Skills Part 1. In this post, I want to talk about emotional regulation. We are not born knowing how to regulate our emotions. This is a skill that must be implicitly learned by being in the presence of another attuned human being who is capable of regulating their emotions. Which is why people with insecure attachment, or who suffered neglect or long-term abuse, often have difficultly “regulating” their emotions. They were never taught how to. The good news is that this is one of the things that can be fixed by therapy. Being with your therapist in a right-brain to right-brain way (with your feelings engaged, and experiencing attunement and limbic resonance) while accessing your intense emotions can teach you how to face and handle those emotions on your own. Continue Reading