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Great article from a new blog I just discovered
I found a new blog by a psychotherapist (h/t to WG of Therapy Tales fame) which I found to be really interesting. She had one post on the purpose of payment in the psychotherapuetic relationship that I found both illuminating and reassuring. (For the record, I have slipped into both the “how pathetic, I have to pay to have an intimate relationship” and “this isn’t real, it’s simulated because I pay you” interpretations.) I think a lot of people might find this helpful to read. If you like this one, you might want to check out the other posts also, there’s a lot of good stuff. I’ll be adding her to my blog roll. 🙂
Categories: money, needs, power, psychotherapy blogs, responsibility, transference
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Tales of a Boundary Ninja 
This is good stuff. Probably the best explanation of “fees” I’ve read. Thanks for sharing!!
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Llama Momma (I just LOVE your username!) I totally agree, I had this vague sense of what she said, that we pay them so that they’re getting something out of the relationship, but it was like taking something really vague, diffuse and fuzzy and snapping it into tight focus. Glad you enjoyed it also.
AG
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I came across her blog a bit back and agree with what you’re saying. So many of her posts really resonated with me and helped me understand so much of the feelings that I was feeling. That particular post is one of my favorites!
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Amanda,
I very much felt the way you did, that so many of her posts resonated with me, AND that this one in particular was a favorite. I actually subscribed to her blog and look forward to reading more of her stuff. She seems to combine a lot of intellectual understanding with compassion, empathy and experience. She also has a real gift for explaining fairly complicated stuff.
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Thanks AG, I really liked that post. I have definitely been “that client” who kept thinking the care was not genuine because my T was “just doing her job” or feeling like a loser because I had to pay someone to have a relationship… I think it’s very hard for us to wrap our minds around, but that was the best explanation I’ve ever read about it.
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Hi Julie,
You have my sympathy as I have also struggled with those feelings. Her explanation really do go a long way in being able to not believe those things about it. I do genuinely believe that for most therapists’ it really isn’t about just the money. You pay for their time but you cannot purchase their feelings. But there is an inherent ambiguity in the therapeutic relationship that makes it hard to trust what’s going on, a task already difficult for people with trauma in their backgrounds. Glad it helped.
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